by Divya Raj.
It’s been a week and I still can’t shake off this feeling. This horrible feeling brought a heavy thump in my heart.
The feeling I got as I overheard a conversation between two little girls at the age of 5 and 7.
Girl (aged 5) : “You have such light and fair skin, my friends would love you. They don’t like me”
Girl (aged 7) : “Why not?”
Girl (aged 5) : “They don’t like me because I’m dark. They said they don’t want to be friends with someone with dark skin”.
It’s such a horrible feeling to even recall this conversation now as I write this with teary eyes.
How could this happen?
How can a girl or boy so young go through something like this?
How can anyone at any age go through something like this?
As I discussed this with the adults around me; they all seem to have the same idea “ it happens.”
Then, I realized too that it is true.
I came across the same thing being a dark-skinned girl. I may have even passed cynical comments like this on my darker skin friends which now to think about it is totally wrong. This conversation among the juveniles is certainly a wake-up call for everyone!
It broke my heart to see a beautiful little girl feel uncomfortable in her own skin.
It breaks my heart to know that there are kids out there who were made to be skin tone biased.
Instances of colourism (discrimination based on one’s skin colour) includes:
i) It happened to me when I was 9 years old and got stabbed with a pencil by some of my classmates just to prove the point that the lead colour is in the same tone as my skin.
ii) It happened to all of us as we were growing up and someone would recommend us skin lightening products.
iii) It happened to us when the criteria of an arranged marriage sounded like “only fair skinned girls/boys”.
iv) It happened to us during shopping when people would pass a remark on not to take bright colours as it will look terrible on dark skinned people.
v) It happened in countless other occasions.
‘It’s normal. It happens everywhere and every time.’
How did we all agree to make this a norm?
How did we all come to accept such a terrible reality that this happens?
Do they know how this will affect one’s self-esteem permanently?
It comes down to one thing; how is this idea planted in a mere child’s mind?
Could we blame their insensitive parents, the heartless society or the environment that made a child discriminate based on one’s skin colour? Is this the kind of belief their adult caretakers possess?
We live in a diverse and multiracial country called Malaysia. We are considered to have progressed so far ahead in many aspects yet in 2023 we still hear people getting discriminated against for their skin colour not only among different races but sometimes even by their own racial communities.
It is such a horror.
As the discussion continued, I overheard my wise father telling all the children there :
“Every flower is beautiful; it is their various and distinct colours, shapes and sizes that make them beautiful and unique”.
I smiled knowing how lucky I am to have a parent who planted the right seed of thought in my mind.
I wish every father/mother would say this to their sons and daughters as they are growing up.
We all need to be constantly reminded that colourism is just like any form of racism.
IT IS UNACCEPTABLE.
Colourism has serious mental and emotional effects that can last for generations. This is not the kind of belief one should possess. Discrimination as such will impede the nation’s progress and worsen the brain drain.
Let’s change and do better for the generation ahead so that they learn that everyone is beautiful in their own skin.
